Stephen Colbert Unleashed: Elon Musk, the Billionaire “Super Villain” Who Wants to Nuke Mars
Before, people called Elon Musk the “Real Tony Stark.” You know, tech genius, savior of humanity, the guy who’s got his fingers in every futuristic pie—SpaceX, Tesla, SolarCity… and the list goes on. But now? Man, Stephen’s got a whole new take.
“Are you really trying to save the world?” Stephen asks with that iconic smirk.
.
.
.
And Elon goes, “Yeah, I’m trying to do good things.”
Stephen fires back, “Doing good things and being a billionaire? That sounds not like a superhero… but like a super villain. You gotta choose one!”
Stephen then pulls out the big guns—Tesla. “I drive a Tesla,” he confesses, “and I love it.” But wait, Elon’s got a new invention—the Power Arm—some creepy robotic snake charger that plugs into your car AUTOMATICALLY when you get home.
Stephen deadpans: “That looks like some Matrix-level body horror… Are you going to jack me into the back of my head while I sleep? Should I be worried?”
Elon cautions, “Well, don’t drop anything near it—at least, not yet.”
Stephen’s face? “Yeah, that’s exactly something a super villain would say before unleashing an army of robot snakes.”
Then, the conversation rockets to Musk’s dreams for Mars.
Stephen’s like, “Wait, why are we going to Mars again? It’s an uninhabitable fixer-upper planet. You want us to live in transparent domes?”
Elon, totally serious, says, “Yes, initially.”
Stephen mocks, “Initially? What after that? You’re gonna terraform Mars by melting the poles… with nuclear weapons?”
When Elon nods, Stephen lays it out bluntly: “Dude, that’s literally what a super villain does! Bomb a planet to make it ‘more habitable?’ Sounds like the plot of a Bond villain movie!”
With a grin, Elon admits, “Yeah.”
Stephen’s conclusion: Elon Musk isn’t here to save the world. He’s here to play the part of the billionaire super villain, and we’re all just the extras in his sci-fi saga.
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