‼️Trump Deflects from Epstein Story by Bringing Back Fitness Test, Feuds with Powell Over Rates

A Night of Laughter and Surprises on The Tonight Show

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The studio lights blazed bright as Jimmy Fallon bounded onto the stage, his signature grin met with thunderous applause. The Tonight Show was in full swing, and the energy in the room was electric.

“Welcome, everybody!” Jimmy called out, basking in the cheers. “Thank you for being here. Thank you for watching.”

He dove right into the night’s headlines, poking fun at President Trump’s latest executive order to bring back the Presidential Fitness Test in schools. “Trump’s very into fitness,” Jimmy joked, pausing for effect. “In fact, right now, he’s trying to run from the Epstein story as fast as he can.” The audience roared, the laughter rolling through the studio.

Jimmy’s monologue was a whirlwind—Trump’s love for public humiliation, his KFC-fueled policy announcements, and his ever-shifting deadlines with Mexico. “The deadline is now Halloween,” Jimmy quipped. “Which means Trump’s going to be making a deal with Mexico in his Minion costume.” The crowd ate it up.

But the jokes didn’t stop there. Jimmy riffed on Trump’s tariff negotiations with Brazil, then seamlessly transitioned to the Federal Reserve’s decision not to lower interest rates, setting up a hilarious back-and-forth with Tariq Trotter from The Roots. What began as an economic explainer quickly devolved into a mock soap opera about Netflix’s “The Hunting Wives,” complete with passionate arguments over fictional characters. The audience was in stitches.

As the laughter faded, Jimmy shifted gears. “Chipotle gave away free guac for National Avocado Day,” he announced, before landing another Trump punchline: “Not only that, Trump just extended it another 90 days.” The jokes kept coming—Skechers’ new shoes for forgetful grandparents, radioactive wasp nests, and viral Greek proposals interrupted by hungry tourists.

Then, with a sparkle in his eye, Jimmy picked up his guitar. “Today is the last day of July, so I thought I’d give a little recap of the entire month.” He serenaded the audience with a witty song, poking fun at Trump’s scandals, Congress, summer dramas, and even his own swollen ankles. The crowd clapped along, savoring every rhyme.

As the music faded, Jimmy introduced the night’s star-studded lineup: legendary director Spike Lee, music maestro Zane Lowe, and rising comedy star Olivia Carter. The applause was deafening.

But the surprises weren’t over yet. Jimmy invited an audience member, Ivan from Mexico, to play “One Answer Only.” The rules were simple: answer one trivia question correctly, and the whole audience wins a prize. Tension mounted as Jimmy read the question. Ivan hesitated, asked for the options again, then took a leap of faith: “I think it’s Taylor Swift. I’ll go with that.”

The judges conferred. A moment’s pause. Then—ding!—the answer was correct! The audience erupted as Jimmy announced the prize: everyone would go home with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Tonight Dough ice cream.

As the show rolled on, Jimmy grinned at the camera. “We have a great show for you tonight!” The crowd cheered, the band played, and another unforgettable night on The Tonight Show was underway.